Travel Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

This year, my family and I decided that, instead of spreading out our travel across the summer, we’d cram two reunion-level vacations and a comedy festival into 20 short days, and now I have some thoughts about traveling.

It was a lot. Outside of all the social obligations, traveling that much can really take a toll on your body. All the driving, and flying, and seat belts, and car sicknesses, and check-in counters, and security frisks, and packing, and unpacking, and repacking, and depacking, and the airport food, and the gas station snacks, and the different beds, and the long walks on the beach. It’s a lot.

To say that it’s not worth it, though, would naturally be false. Travel is so great that people with the resources to do so often make it their entire personality. Being in new places, outside of your comfort zone, is inarguably a top three way to grow as a person. And yes, sometimes that means sitting in seat 42F next to the bathrooms on an American Airlines flight that’s been taxiing around O’Hare for 45 minutes without the air conditioning turned on.

Dad tips of the month

• Don’t overhype - If you don’t know something is going to be great, like a kids zone at LaGuardia, for example, definitely don’t get them too excited lest you both be disappointed. 🙌

• Use sunscreen & bug spray - Think about how unpleasant mosquito bites and sunburns are. Now imagine you’ve only been alive for 3 years and someone is telling you to stop scratching something that itches. 🦟 

• If they’re sleeping better than usual, they’re probably sick - This one is admittedly pretty specific, but every time we’re on the flight home from a long vacation and my daughter sleeps like a champ, we always start congratulating ourselves on being the best travel parents in the universe instead of hitting the local Walgreens for some cold medicine. 🤧

The Boredom of Preseason NFL Football

I love football. From the beginning of February until the end of August, life simply does not have the same shine and shimmer, because my Thursdays, Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays are without my favorite sport.

You may be thinking, “Conor, don’t you mean the beginning of August? That’s when the NFL preseason starts!” If you are thinking that, then this section of Conor Intelligence is for you, because I am here to say that I, Conor Cawley, of sound mind and body, absolutely hate the NFL preseason.

To be fair, I understand why it exists. Football is an infamously dangerous sport, and getting some reps in before the real season can (probably) alleviate some of that strain. Also, it happens right before the teams have to trim their lineup down to 53 players, so it gives those undrafted free agents a chance for some in-game reps. Additionally, I understand that the NFL is a money-hungry corporation like the rest of them, and getting a few extra revenue streams in before the season starts is likely a top priority for these greedy monsters (see: the price of Sunday NFL Ticket).

That is where my understanding ends, though. The games don’t matter, your favorite players aren’t on the field or even dressed in the uniform sometimes, and the energy is just off. I attended a preseason Bears game one year at Solider Field, a stadium that is rarely if ever anything but packed to the rafters, even when they’re inevitably sporting a losing record and eliminated from playoff contention. People were leaving before halftime.

Sure, I love the sound of football returning to bars and restaurants and airport lounges — the crunches of pads, the whistles of refs, the cadence of Joe Buck’s now oddly comforting voice — but at what cost? My hopes are up, but for a month I must endure the football equivalent of watching trailers because the movie isn’t out yet.

Luckily, I’m writing this at the end of August (procrastinate much?), so the real season, the actual football, is right around the corner.

What I’m consuming this month

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a bit weird. Dream/Morpheus/The King of Dream/Lord Shaper (seriously, this guy has a lot of names) traverses and rules over a dreamlike world of creatures and beings, while still dealing with human experiences like friendship, love, and grief. Plus, he does so with a faintly familiar angst that any elder millennial will relate to, due either to their own goth phase or that of their many classmates.

The second season has been a damn delight, especially considering I was shockingly able to get my wife on board, forgetting that DC-level world building and fantasy fay smut books have a lot more overlap than people realize. Yes, the original content is written by Neil Gaiman, who is bad for a number of reasons, but if you can’t separate art from artist every once in a while, you’re going to have a hard time finding anything to enjoy for the foreseeable future.

I guess I’ll see you around the ol’ watering hole

There’s no end in sight to the strange ways in which I will sign off Conor Intelligence.

OK, this is officially a plea for help. I’m going to keep doing these weird sign-offs until someone close to me takes drastic action to get me to stop. Kidnap my family? Garnish my wages? Somehow prohibit me from ever playing the new Mario Kart game? Do what you must. I can take it for the sake of these funky farewells.

Anyway, thanks for reading as always and hope to see you next month! No promises, but there’s a good chance it’s going to be mostly about football, sooooo just a heads up!