The Importance of Picking Your Karaoke Song

After attending a birthday party at a karaoke bar this week, I was reminded of my long-history with the popular form of bar entertainment. More specifically, I couldn’t help but ponder my own early days of karaoke when I had a go-to song that I loved, but eventually had to retire for very good reasons.

However, the artist in question has come under some serious and warranted scrutiny since my early karaoke days, which has forced me to reconsider my go-to song. I am, of course, talking about Ignition (Remix) by R Kelly.

Before his horrid behavior had been brought to light — resulting in a 30-year prison sentence — this 3-minute song was guaranteed to get a karaoke bar hopping. Rows of high fives awaited me after my exaggerated “bounce bounce bounces” and “toot toot beep beeps,” because it was, in fact, the freakin’ weekend baby, and we were about to have us some fun.

Around 2019, though, the party, the after party, and the hotel lobby were over. Not only did I not feel comfortable singing the song, but the one or two times I tried, it was not received well, if you can believe it.

So, the search for a new song began, and it’s been a long road. Some songs are too slow, some songs are too fast. Some songs are too sad and others are too long. Some songs are even written by comparably horrible people, which made me worry that my choice in karaoke songs was somehow manifesting criminal behavior.

Maybe you aren’t supposed to have a go-to karaoke song. Could it be that this performance art is designed to be so low-stakes that any level of preparation detracts from the ultimate goal of having a good time? That your mere commitment to a single song in the face of a seemingly endless binder of choices is setting you up for failure?

Now, usually I don’t do this but uh… I’m gonna go ahead and not pick a go-to karaoke song for a while, so I can have me some fun.

Dad tips of the week

Baptisms, ballet classes, and Mother’s Day dinners made for a busy week, soliciting some very specific advice that could help you with your kids in the near future.

• Wash hands often - This goes for you and your kids alike, because other kids are disgusting and riddled with disease. 😷

• Bring stuff places - We attended a baptism this week, and my daughter was an angel, all because I brought one of her (many) Elsa dolls to occupy her. ❄️

• Take turns - If you’re lucky enough to parent with a partner, jump in when the other is struggling, or feel the wrath of two overstimulated people at once. 😖

Cawley an Audible – Maybe or Maybe Not, It’s Still May

My brother Brian Cawley is back with another edition of Cawley an Audible to talk about the Cubs hot start and why it’s fine to be excited about the first place team.

Spring baseball can be a bit of a challenge for fans. With a loaded schedule of 162 games, each game represents about 0.6% of the season. By comparison, a single NFL game represents about 6% of the season, the equivalent to about 10 MLB games. So, trying to evaluate, say, the Cubs based on 10 or even 20 games would be as dubious as judging an NFL team based on a game or two. (Though, to be fair, I can think of several games that singularly define the misery of the 2024–25 Chicago Bears season, but the Bears’ ability to pack a season of despair into a single game is a cruel talent possessed only by the Bears).

By mid-May, however, the temptation to assess a baseball team’s capabilities starts to creep in. After all, we are 44 games into the season, more than a quarter of the way through the season. Surely that’s enough. But let’s compare to the 2024 Cubs at this point in the season:

Identical. A neat coincidence, yes, but also a poignant reminder that spring success a contender does not make. You see, by the end of June 2024, the Cubs were 39-46, in last place in the NL Central, and 11.5 games back on the first-place Brewers, all thanks to a horrid 15-27 stretch from May 15 to June 30. The season was all but finished by the Fourth of July. So, who’s to say history won’t repeat itself?

Respectfully, I do. Yes, the records are eerily similar. And yes, it’s mid-May. But like any good sports fan, I follow my gut, and this team feels different. The bats? Explosive. Fielding? Gold-Glove caliber. Starting pitching? Fairly depleted. The bullpen? Highly problematic. Talk about a recipe for elation and/or crushing disappointment. But you’ve got to ride the wave of success while it lasts, even when there’s uncertainty abound.

What I’m consuming this week

But my TikTok is always there, waiting patiently on my phone for a few seconds here, a minute or two there, to entertain me with its delightfully addictive scroll. I’ve culled and pruned my algorithm over the years to keep the more negative aspects of social media at bay, so I’m mostly getting video game walkthroughs, sports highlights, dad jokes, and videos of people surprising their loved ones after living abroad for a few years to get a good cry on. If I want to be bummed out about the increasingly problematic state of the world, I’ll go back to Twitter.

The end is nigh!

Not the end of the world, just the end of this week’s Conor Intelligence.

Another week, another Conor Intelligence in the books! I’m having a blast writing these and I hope you’re enjoying the weekly read!

I’m not really sure how/if I’m supposed to make more of an effort to grow this thing honestly. I’m kind of enjoying just writing to write, but obviously doesn’t hurt to get more eyeballs, so if you know how to do that, lemme now!